Nonviolent communication : a language of compassion

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A simple yet powerful method of communication for mediating conflicts and peacefully resolving differences at the political, professional, and personal levels.

Chapter 1 Giving From the Heart: The Heart of Nonviolent Communication	p. 1
Introduction	p. 1
A way to focus attention	p. 3
The NVC model	p. 6
Applying NVC in our lives and world	p. 7
NVC In Action--"Murder, Assassin, Child-killer!"	p. 12
Chapter 2 Communication That Blocks Compassion	p. 15
Moralistic judgments	p. 15
Making comparisons	p. 18
Denial of responsibility	p. 19
Other forms of life-alienating communication	p. 22
Chapter 3 Observing Without Evaluating	p. 25
The highest form of human intelligence	p. 29
NVC In Action--"The most arrogant speaker we've ever had!"	p. 33
Exercise 1	p. 35
Chapter 4 Identifying and Expressing Feelings	p. 37
The heavy cost of unexpressed feelings	p. 38
Feelings versus non-feelings	p. 42
Building a vocabulary for feelings	p. 44
Exercise 2	p. 48
Chapter 5 Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings	p. 51
Hearing a negative message: four options	p. 51
The needs at the roots of feelings	p. 55
The pain of expressing our needs versus the pain of not expressing our needs	p. 58
From emotional slavery to emotional liberation	p. 60
NVC In Action--"Bring back the stigma of illegitimacy!"	p. 65
Exercise 3	p. 69
Chapter 6 Requesting That Which Would Enrich Life	p. 71
Using positive action language	p. 71
Making requests consciously	p. 76
Asking for a reflection	p. 78
Requesting honesty	p. 80
Making requests of a group	p. 81
Requests versus demands	p. 83
Defining our objective when making requests	p. 85
NVC In Action--Sharing fears about a best friend's smoking	p. 91
Exercise 4	p. 94
Chapter 7 Receiving Empathically	p. 97
Presence: Don't just do something, stand there	p. 97
Listening for feelings and needs	p. 100
Paraphrasing	p. 102
Sustaining empathy	p. 109
When pain blocks our ability to empathize	p. 110
NVC In Action--A wife connects with her dying husband	p. 112
Exercise 5	p. 116
Chapter 8 The Power of Empathy	p. 119
Empathy that heals	p. 119
Empathy and the ability to be vulnerable	p. 121
Using empathy to defuse danger	p. 123
Empathy in hearing someone's "No!"	p. 127
Empathy to revive a lifeless conversation	p. 128
Empathy for silence	p. 129
Chapter 9 Expressing Anger Fully	p. 135
Distinguishing stimulus from cause	p. 136
All anger has a life-serving core	p. 138
Stimulus versus cause: practical implications	p. 139
Four steps to expressing anger	p. 142
Offering empathy first	p. 143
Taking our time	p. 146
NVC In Action--Parent and teen dialog a life-threatening issue	p. 148
Chapter 10 The Protective Use of Force	p. 155
When the use of force is unavoidable	p. 155
The thinking behind the use of force	p. 155
Types of punitive force	p. 157
The costs of punishment	p. 158
Two questions that reveal the limitations of punishment	p. 159
The protective use of force in schools	p. 160
Chapter 11 Liberating Ourselves and Counseling Others	p. 165
Freeing ourselves from old programming	p. 165
Resolving internal conflicts	p. 166
Dream-killing language	p. 167
Caring for our inner environment	p. 169
Replacing diagnosis with NVC	p. 170
NVC In Action--Dealing with resentments and self-judgment	p. 176
Chapter 12 Expressing Appreciation in Nonviolent Communication	p. 181
The intention behind the appreciation	p. 181
The three components of appreciation	p. 182
Receiving appreciation	p. 184
The hunger for appreciation	p. 186
Overcoming the reluctance to express appreciation	p. 188
Epilogue	p. 190
The Nonviolent Communication Model	p. 193
Bibliography	p. 194
About the Mission of CNVC	p. 197
NVC Worldwide Training: Contact Information	p. 199
About the Author	p. 201
Index	p. 203
Materials Order Form	p. 210

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