可借阅:*
图书馆 | 资料类型 | 排架号 | 子计数 | 书架位置 | 状态 | 图书预约 |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
正在检索... South | Book | 616.89 NEUH | 1 | Stacks | 正在检索... 未知 | 正在检索... 不可借阅 |
链接这些题名
已订购
摘要
摘要
"Dan Neuharth's book demystifies much within our pasts that can hurt our intimate relationships in ways we may not even realize. If You Had Controlling Parents helps spark understanding and acceptance across generations." -- John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self?
If so, you may be among the fifteen million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., you'll discover whether your parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings, social life, and other aspects of your childhood--and whether that control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood. Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions, this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you "inner critics," and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones.
目录
Acknowledgments | p. ix |
To the Reader | p. xiii |
Introduction: Did You Grow Up With Unhealthy Control? | p. xv |
Part 1 Naming the Problem | p. 1 |
1 Healthier Parenting Versus Controlling Parenting | p. 3 |
2 Smothering Parenting: Life Under a Microscope | p. 16 |
3 Depriving Parenting: Playing "Take Away" | p. 23 |
4 Perfectionistic Parenting: A Place for Everything (and Everything Had Better Be in Place) | p. 30 |
5 Cultlike Parenting: Obedience with a Missionary Zeal | p. 37 |
6 Chaotic Parenting: Life in the Quicksand Lane | p. 44 |
7 Using Parenting: "Me First" Child Raising | p. 50 |
8 Abusing Parenting: "Do It or Else" Child Raising | p. 58 |
9 Childlike Parenting: "Can't Do" Child Raising | p. 66 |
Summary of the Eight Styles | p. 71 |
Part 2 Understanding the Problem | p. 77 |
10 How Overcontrol Works | p. 79 |
11 Putting It All Together: Meet Your Internalized Parents | p. 103 |
12 The Adult-Life Legacies of Growing up Controlled | p. 110 |
13 Letting Go of the Legacies: Giving up the Distortions of the Internalized Parents | p. 123 |
14 Why Parents Overcontrol | p. 130 |
15 Controllers' Fears | p. 147 |
Part 3 Solving the Problem | p. 155 |
Step 1 Emotionally Leaving Home | p. 157 |
16 Separating from Unhealthy Family Ties | p. 159 |
Step 2 Bringing Balance to Your Relationship with Your Parents | p. 171 |
17 How Can I Set Healthier Boundaries with My Parents? | p. 172 |
18 Should I Confront My Parents? | p. 180 |
19 Can I Forgive My Parents? | p. 188 |
20 Can I Accept My Parents? | p. 195 |
21 Should I Reduce or Break Contact with My Parents? | p. 200 |
22 Family Quandaries | p. 204 |
Step 3 Redefining Your Life | p. 210 |
23 Nine Powerful Paths for Growth and Healing | p. 211 |
24 Making Meaning | p. 231 |
The Book in a Nutshell | p. 235 |
Works Cited | p. 243 |