Codes of love [how to rethink your family and remake your life]

Best of the Best. Some people grow up feeling unloved because they misinterpret the messages from their parents. Bryan provides a systematic approach to cracking those codes so listeners can communicate more effectively in their relationships.

出版社周刊评论

Aiming at John Bradshaw's audience of adults seeking to reconcile relationships with their original families, Bryan's self-help program draws on sophisticated psychological and spiritual concepts and the work of such thinkers as Murray Bowen and James Hillman. Bryan (The Prodigal Father; coauthor of The Artist's Way at Work) believes that individuals can enhance present relationships and self-understanding by viewing family dynamics from a mature perspective, which he calls "changing the past." He teaches that understanding and forgiveness lie in reframing difficult experiences (short of real abuse) as sources of growth and strength. Offering numerous exercises to spur the process, he urges readers to map their family's "story line," to examine "codes" of communication and behavior and to fathom the motivations of other family members. (His useful checklist for going home for the holidays is bound to attract media attention.) Personal stories enliven the text, but none are as affecting as that of the author's own estrangement from his rural West Virginia family. Recalling a time in his 20s when he was desperate for money and his father refused to help, Bryan reframes the experience as a character-building lesson about resourcefulness and self-reliance. His approach is intelligent and compassionate, although his seriousness and the intensive process he espouses may overwhelm the general self-help reader. Agent, David Vigliano. (Oct.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

《图书馆杂志》(Library Journal )书评

This book is not another empty self-help book but a workbook for studious, quiet thought and analysis. Bryan (The Prodigal Father) draws on his personal struggles in his efforts to create a self-guided program of reflections for the reader. The director of the Father Project in Los Angeles and the product of a troubled family, Bryan offers a lot of insight into family conflict. "All those years I had been estranged," he muses, "my father and I had been speaking different languages but trying to say the same thing." He suggests four basic steps to help you see your way home: "Remember, Reflect, Re-frame, and Reconnect." Although these ideas have been espoused countless times in self-help literature, Bryan's thoughtful exercises and writing put a new spin on reframing relationships. Trying to answer the in-depth questions in the introduction alone could take a weekend of solitary reflection. For large public, academic, and specialized collections. [Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 6/15/99.]--Susan E. Burdick, MLS, Reading, PA (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

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《图书馆杂志》(Library Journal )书评